Too Many Sirens

Homer's Odyssey tells of mythical sirens, bird-women nymphs, who drew men off of their chosen path with the enticement of sweet music.  Knowing the danger of these women, Odysseus wisely told his men to cover their ears before they were in vicinity of the sound.

Unfortunately, sirens are not only mythical creatures but also real-life women.  The modern world has taught young girls that the only way to "get a guy" is to "chase a guy," and becoming a siren is disturbingly effective.  Many guys are susceptible to the sort of "harmless flirtation" that will eventually lead them astray.  Young women often believe that flirting with guys is the only way to a relationship with any man.  In fact, I often have found myself trapped between this apparent reality with its pragmatic solution and Biblical values that preclude casual flirting and guy-chasing.

If we look at the truth of the matter, however, all of us should know that the results of abandoning a "meek and quiet spirit" are not really what we desire (I Pet. 3:4).

• Does a young women really desire marriage to a young man who is not strong enough to resist her call?  Will he be able to resist the call of other women any better after marriage?
• Does she want a man who is not resolute enough in his own desires to want only her--to choose only her?  Will he continue to choose loving her over other alternatives every day of his life when he never chose her in the first place?
• Does she really desire a young man who can charm her socks off when she realizes that his looks and charisma are capable of charming twenty other women at the same time?  Will he not continue to charm other women after marriage when that has been his constant habit?

The men would likely not choose the results of their irresponsibility either.

• Does a young man really desire a woman who was forced to live behind a mask used as camouflage in order to catch him?  Will she remain the same woman for a blissful fifty years of marriage if she has been accustomed to changing her attitudes and looks on the whims of men and the culture at large?
• Does he want a woman who has found that flirting is the only way to make a point or get her way with a man?  What if his wife then has to deal with other men besides her husband?
• Does a man really want to relinquish his leadership responsibility to the young women in his life?  Does he want to follow her lead in other matters after having forced her to take the lead in courtship?

And the implicit answer to all of the above questions is "NO!!!!!"  I have chosen not to flirt with guys--and I say chosen because I also considered the other option--I have chosen not to flirt with the young men around me because I want one that cannot be turned aside by all of the sirens that sing sweetly to him along the way.  I want him to have the gumption to choose a life with me and then to cover his ears and return home faithful to me, deaf to the sirens' cries all around him.  I want to have that meek and quiet spirit that maintains a peaceful, loving home amidst the chaos of our modern world.

So we each have a choice to make:

• Girls, will you seek the attention of every guy, now and forever, or will you save that loving heart for the one man who will cherish it above every other?
• Men, will you make yourself available to every woman, now and forever, and surrender to the first woman who pursues you or will you watch for a dear heart that will be the other side of you and pursue her unwavering to the ends of the earth?

Don't wait to make your commitment to a strong marriage.  Make your choice known by your actions today.

Joy is Desired

A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches, and loving favor rather than silver and gold. (Proverbs 22:1)

Upon hearing this verse in a chapel message during middle school, my fascination with names began.  The speaker had brought with him a comprehensive list of first names in our small school.  Many of them had detailed meanings such as "gift from God."  My name, Leticia, means "joy."  It is a beautiful name, a good name, but rather vague I have often thought.  Later, I combined this with my middle name for the fuller meaning "joy is desired."  During my teenage years, this definition taught me the power of passive voice and of words with double meanings.  I often wondered whether I was "joy" or the unstated indirect object that desires joy.  And did desired mean that I myself (as joy) was desirable or that I was lacking joy, that "joy is desired" in my life.

For several years, that latter meaning did apply to me.  But I was not who God had made me to be.  Oddly enough, one step in my discovery of joy was a personality inventory after which the administrator reluctantly told me that I showed equal tendencies toward two personalities, but that I could choose which one described my true self and improve the strengths that it revealed in me.  Then my mother continued to remind me of the joy I truly was.  Her picture of a smile or a hug as a refreshing breeze that flits among the leaves and tickles the flower petals helped me to understand my place and purpose in the world.  She told me to write down every Bible reference that I found mentioning joy, and so my "Joy Book" began.  Soon it grew to include not only Bible verses but  also songs, the first flowers of spring, and treasured memories of times with friends.  Joy is no longer wanting in my life.  Truly, "the joy of the Lord is my strength." (Neh. 8:10)