Making a Mark

Often history is presented just as a body of names and dates to learn before an impending test on Friday.  Occasionally, a fact will be interesting or the teacher will tell a funny story that helps his students to remember a lesson for a few days past the test.  But the facts within the lesson may be entirely lost . . .

And I am here, as a history major, telling you that I'm not sure it's such a bad thing.

The lesson is the goal.  It is the mark of history well-learned.  There are a variety of lessons that we can learn from history and, while veracity is a crucial foundation to history, the most important lessons are not the mere facts.

There are frameworks and story lines that will fascinate attentive readers and continue to teach them new lessons long after the original one was mastered.

The first and most important framework of history is as His Story.  Looking back we can see the hand of God at work in the most astonishing places.  One of my favorite examples is the unexpected storm that drove the Spanish Armada off course just before it reached the shores of the weakly-defended British isles and may have been the difference between Catholic and Protestant foundations for this country.  Seeing His Story unfold is like looking at a tapestry that is partially finished.  We can see the colors--and a bit of the design, if we study it carefully.  Just a bit, mind, not quite enough to guess what the final design will be.  So God keeps us in a wonderful state of suspense, waiting eagerly for the next details of His design.

Another framework that I find particularly comforting is the influence of motherhood.  The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world, as a wise man once said.  There can hardly be any occupation in this modern world that garners less gratitude and appreciation that dedicated motherhood.  Yet it is mother who shape their children's view of the world.  (Not to diminish the role that fathers play in the rearing of children and especially in the formation of their views of God, but a woman typically has more time with the children to have a broader influence on their attitudes and beliefs.  Perhaps I will be able to deal with fatherhood at some point later.)  Mothers teach their children what is important.  They teach them the value of human life, and they love their children without stint.  Surely these things help to shape the course of history, "one heartbeat at a time."

"One Heartbeat at a Time,"

by Steven Curtis Chapman

Another related perspective on history that is overlooked is personhood.  All of our forebears back there that are now neatly arranged by name and date in dry history textbooks were people--real people!  Yes, I know, it's an amazing revelation.  Well, maybe not.  We all know they were people, but we do not always analyze them as people.  Names and dates cannot begin to encompass all there was to them.  They had dreams and goals, motivations and fears, just like we have today.  And can we really analyze them as if they were particles of dust or an amoeba to be put under a microscope?  No.  We can learn from their lives, but we cannot pass conclusive judgment on them any more than we can on those people around us.  Even the most insignificant individuals of the past--the ones who are relegated to obscure tomes in the backs of libraries or, worse yet, were never mentioned at all--still had reams that could have been written on them.

Finally, the study of history cannot be relegated to the space between the covers of a book.  It is much bigger than that.  History is the whole story of life.  Every one of us make a mark on the pages of history.  We are studying history every time we chat about the weather or meet a new person or decide what to wear based on the fashions of the season.  History does not have to be intimidating or boring.

It is simple.  It is accessible.  It is exciting.  It is all-encompassing.  History is LIFE!

The Saved Seat

Attending a church meeting a couple of weeks ago, an older man came to our pew and asked, "Is this seat saved?"  The seat was right beside me, so I replied that it was open.  Then he teased, "I thought you might be saving it for your husband."  Well, this particular man knows that I am unmarried, so I replied with a laugh and a joking comment about not needing to save the seat.

But then I realized that there is a seat I have been saving for my husband . . . in my heart.

Oh, I don't know who he will be or when I will meet him or if I have already.  Nothing like that.  But there is a place in my heart reserved for him.

The saved seat is a special place of love for one who also loves me.  It is built of respect for the responsibility that he will shoulder in being the leader of a godly house.  It is covered with admiration of a man truly made and rightly grown.  It is ornamented with trust in a loving God and in the care He has shown by bringing us love here below.  It is surrounded by the service of a giving heart that delights in bringing joy to those who have seats within the heart.  It is a large seat, hidden for now by a dark blanket of caution lest one should slip into that seat who is not worthy of it.

Saving this particular seat in the heart takes diligence.  The control of one's mind and actions is part of the task.  But the control of the emotions is key to this endeavor.  Once the heart is given to another, it cannot be returned in one piece.  There is a glue that binds the two together so that both must be torn if they are ever to be separated.  Whatever part of love and trust and respect is lost in relationships along the way diminishes the newness and the beauty of the saved seat.  So it is best to save all of those emotions for the one whose seat it is.

Pray to God for the strength to save a seat for the one beloved.  The saved seat is a beautiful place.

Love or Fear

Yesterday, a friend on Facebook asked everyone what they think love is.  I did not respond because someone else had already given my short answer that would have been posted there.  Love is self-sacrifice.

But there is so much more to it than just saying the word.  One must understand what self-sacrifice really means in everyday life.  There are good examples of self-sacrifice that might give us a hint of its meaning, but even they cannot provide a full explanation.  Jesus is the ultimate example of self-sacrifice.  He "made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men:  And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross." (Phil. 2:7-8 KJV)  Christ figures in literature often appear through individual self-sacrifice as well.  Sidney Carton in Dickens' A Tale of Two Cities sacrificed himself and his dreams for Lucie Manette and Charles Darnay because he thought her welfare more than his own life (Eph. 5:25).  Sonya, from Dostoevsky's Crime and Punishment, is a dual example of self-sacrifice both for the sake of her family and later for the sake of Rodya.  A more obscure example of self-sacrifice comes from The Winning of Barbara Worth, by Harold Bell Wright.  Abe Lee sacrifices his own lifelong dream for the good of Barbara Worth.

If I'm not mistaken, those ideas show just enough of what love requires to put the fear into you.  Although there is an intense longing within people to be able to love like that, it is often subdued by fear.  Therefore, it is necessary also to know the opposite of love.  It would seem that there is an obvious answer:  hate.  But that is false.  I never quite understood the one thing that is truly antagonistic to love before seeing the MessyMondays video, "The Opposite of Love."

But "perfect love casteth out fear." (I John 4:8)  And what are those fears that love casts out?

• fear of being hurt?
• fear of another not loving you back?
• fear of humiliation?
• fear of loneliness?
• fear of rejection?
• fear of abandonment?
• fear of being bested?
• fear of not being good enough?
• fear of being too much?  (too talkative--too quiet--too ugly)

Do you all realize that those fears focus entirely on oneself?  I only just did as I was beginning to write this post!  The one thing that stands in the way of our loving others as Christ loves us is that we think about our own selves and fear for our own selves.  But his focus was not on himself.  He looked down and saw our need of him and took no further thought for himself.  This is the true meaning of self-sacrifice.  It is a way of life as well as a noble cause of death (Rom. 12:1-3).  Heed the high calling God has given you.

A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another;

as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.

By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples,

if ye have love one to another. (John 13:34-35)

Whyever Not?

Prepare to be shocked. . . .

I am speaking of arranged marriage.  Yes, I know.  It's crazy.  But is crazy always a bad thing?  Sometimes it is another term for genius.

Over the past few months, all sorts of circumstances have led me to ask this question.  In fact, it rather haunts me.  Whyever not arranged marriage?

Have we fully considered the pros and cons or merely scorned it as an antique notion discarded as we progressed toward our modern level of civilization?L  And exactly how civilized is our modern society with its rampant immorality and rising divorce rate?

As Christians, we claim to be concerned that Christians are equally yoked with other Christians.  Yet do we exert any energy toward that end within the local church or do we sit around gossiping about the apparent lack of suitable mates?  Whyever not take some steps toward the making of suitable marriages?

We say that we are all brothers and sisters in Christ who love one another and want the best for each other.  Yet we protest that we do not know each other well enough to arrange marriages between strong young Christians.  Well, perhaps we should get to know one another.  Do we really think that the secular model of dating and sexuality will allow us any greater acquaintance with potential marriage partners?

And the mention of modern dating brings me to another question. . . .

Are we more committed to the Biblical ideal of marriage and family or to the cultural ideal of "love at first sight"?  Is that sense of emotional connection experienced "once upon a time" going to be a sufficient foundation for marriage?  Or would a commitment, maturely considered, be more valuable in the long run?  I know the appeal of that "love at first sight" electricity.  I have felt it.  It is intriguing, but it is also enough to scare one senseless.  And it is oh so dangerous.  Commited love is to be chosen over chemical connections, no matter how strong.  But does our acceptance of the modern dating model with all of its fickleness encourage the level of commitment that we desire in Christian marriage?

And the last question . . .

Exactly how thoroughly could arranged marriage be practiced if we were more committed to Biblical standards than to the world's opinion of us?  Would we be better acquainted with God's children?  Would we have closer-knit families and church communities that might facilitate wiser marriages?  Would young Christians perhaps be more concerned with doing the will of God for their lives that with satisfying their own selfish desires?

Lest anyone reading this should discount these questions because I am only one person saying these things, let me clarify that these thoughts are to help me think through the conversations between me and my friends (ages 19-23) that seemed to head frequently in the direction of relationships and marriage.  No, we are not some sort of girls' "lonely heart club."  We were a mixed group of serious-minded young people.  It was the week of Fiddler productions, I think.  Everyone had arranged marriage on the brain.  One day at lunch, our table discussed it as a vague possibility for our peers and dismissed its application to us with, "Oh, horrors!"  The next day we heard a senior testimony declaring such conjecture to be a common sophomore mindset and witnessed the groans and nods of agreement that followed.  On the evening of the third day, we watched Fiddler on the Roof.  The fourth day, I suddenly asked my haunting question:  "Whyever not?"

Yet you may take my still-single status as an indication that I have not asked anyone to arrange my marriage yet . . .  :D

As you can tell, I am still trying to figure this out and would appreciate all of the input I can get.  So I want to hear what you all think of these ideas.  Are there any suggestions? questions? experiences with this sort of thing?  Please contact me here or by email to join the discussion.