Whyever Not?

Prepare to be shocked. . . .

I am speaking of arranged marriage.  Yes, I know.  It's crazy.  But is crazy always a bad thing?  Sometimes it is another term for genius.

Over the past few months, all sorts of circumstances have led me to ask this question.  In fact, it rather haunts me.  Whyever not arranged marriage?

Have we fully considered the pros and cons or merely scorned it as an antique notion discarded as we progressed toward our modern level of civilization?L  And exactly how civilized is our modern society with its rampant immorality and rising divorce rate?

As Christians, we claim to be concerned that Christians are equally yoked with other Christians.  Yet do we exert any energy toward that end within the local church or do we sit around gossiping about the apparent lack of suitable mates?  Whyever not take some steps toward the making of suitable marriages?

We say that we are all brothers and sisters in Christ who love one another and want the best for each other.  Yet we protest that we do not know each other well enough to arrange marriages between strong young Christians.  Well, perhaps we should get to know one another.  Do we really think that the secular model of dating and sexuality will allow us any greater acquaintance with potential marriage partners?

And the mention of modern dating brings me to another question. . . .

Are we more committed to the Biblical ideal of marriage and family or to the cultural ideal of "love at first sight"?  Is that sense of emotional connection experienced "once upon a time" going to be a sufficient foundation for marriage?  Or would a commitment, maturely considered, be more valuable in the long run?  I know the appeal of that "love at first sight" electricity.  I have felt it.  It is intriguing, but it is also enough to scare one senseless.  And it is oh so dangerous.  Commited love is to be chosen over chemical connections, no matter how strong.  But does our acceptance of the modern dating model with all of its fickleness encourage the level of commitment that we desire in Christian marriage?

And the last question . . .

Exactly how thoroughly could arranged marriage be practiced if we were more committed to Biblical standards than to the world's opinion of us?  Would we be better acquainted with God's children?  Would we have closer-knit families and church communities that might facilitate wiser marriages?  Would young Christians perhaps be more concerned with doing the will of God for their lives that with satisfying their own selfish desires?

Lest anyone reading this should discount these questions because I am only one person saying these things, let me clarify that these thoughts are to help me think through the conversations between me and my friends (ages 19-23) that seemed to head frequently in the direction of relationships and marriage.  No, we are not some sort of girls' "lonely heart club."  We were a mixed group of serious-minded young people.  It was the week of Fiddler productions, I think.  Everyone had arranged marriage on the brain.  One day at lunch, our table discussed it as a vague possibility for our peers and dismissed its application to us with, "Oh, horrors!"  The next day we heard a senior testimony declaring such conjecture to be a common sophomore mindset and witnessed the groans and nods of agreement that followed.  On the evening of the third day, we watched Fiddler on the Roof.  The fourth day, I suddenly asked my haunting question:  "Whyever not?"

Yet you may take my still-single status as an indication that I have not asked anyone to arrange my marriage yet . . .  :D

As you can tell, I am still trying to figure this out and would appreciate all of the input I can get.  So I want to hear what you all think of these ideas.  Are there any suggestions? questions? experiences with this sort of thing?  Please contact me here or by email to join the discussion.